It's been awhile since the last post. Inertia struck, it's the only way I can describe it. Inert. Promise that this entire post won't be depressing ;) but I do believe that mental illness still carries a stigma and that many times is the unseen disability, or ability when you can turn it around. Since childhood, throughout of my life, I have dealt with my recurrent major depression. Art has played a big part in my life and made a big impact on my recovery.
This time is different, my 'inertness' has a great deal to do with the loss of my pet pig, Henry. I so believe in the power of animals and what they give to their human family. It's been six months since we had to have him euthanized, I still think of him every day. He was the biggest pain in the ass, he was the sweetest boy, he could be incredibly crabby, he gave really good kisses and you watch him think. I could complain to Henry about my husband and it later came out that my husband also complained to Henry about me! Henry was discrete and kept his secrets, he was a sweetie. We both miss him and laugh and tell stories of all of his quirky antics!
We miss the pig.
6 comments:
sorry to hear you lost your pet! they get into your heart, don't they? I still choke up over my childhood dog, Fletcher and that was a LONG time ago. I've always thought pigs were cool; old souls. I'm sure you were firmly wedged in his heart too.
I think sometimes inertia is an immune system process--the psyche shutting itself down for regrouping and repairs, and conservation of energy. Periodic inertia can be a good thing. Having dealt with depression myself (but not clinically "major"), I have to say it's amazing what you have achieved in spite of having to be vigilant about that. I become utterly unproductive when I go through a period of depression; you seem to have managed, however, to find a way to make your art happen in spite of having that cross to bear. Congratulations on your hard-won endurance and freedom!
I am sorry to tell you this, but you will miss him for the rest of your life. He was special and filled a little nitch in your heart. However, the pain becomes less. If you are lucky, you will see another animal and there will be something special about him. Don't overlook it. They call it soul recognition, if you believe, which I do.
I know. It occured to me and I am so grateful that after Dino left, years later I found Jack to fill a long lasting void.
Thank you Carol, you are right about missing him for the rest of my life. Hopefully there may be another pig in the future. Henry was definitely an old soul in a pigs body, he was a sweetie!
Thank you lunedreams, I think it is an endurance "run." You've hit the mark on that the body and mind knowing what the body and mind need to do for self preservation. I do seem come to the other side with a renewed energy when the inertia bug hits. Thank for the kind comments everyone.
What a thought-provoking post. I know what you mean... more than I would like to admit. Funny how that is... the things we admit, the things we don't.
I'm also sorry for your loss. Use your art as your vehicle. The ball will roll and you'll get through this!
P.S. I know this is forward, but send me your snail mail address and I'll put something in the post for you. I promise it won't be creepy! ardenttie@yahoo.com
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